Posts in "What Scares You" Category — Page 3

Mindy Quigley is a delightful human being, and I’m so thrilled to feature her here!

Mindy is the author of two lighthearted mystery series. Her latest, the Deep Dish Mysteries (Minotaur-St. Martin’s Press) was a Woman’s World book club pick and has been featured in Parade magazine. Mindy’s non-writing career is stranger than fiction, having taken her from the US to the UK, where she worked as the personal assistant to the scientist who cloned Dolly the sheep and as project manager for a research clinic founded by the author J.K. Rowling. She now lives in small-town Virginia with her Civil War history professor husband and their children.

If all that isn’t cool enough, read on, my friends…

What is your greatest fear as a writer?

Where to start? That everyone will hate my books. That I’ll become mentally or physically ill and not be able to meet my deadline. That I’ll forget how to write. That I’ll write something that pisses people off and then they’ll hate me. That I’ll be a failure and have wasted my life pursuing this dream. That I’ll be a success and not know how to handle it. That the mild arthritis in my fingers will become debilitating and I won’t be able to type my books. That my poor eyesight will become even worse and I won’t be able to see the computer screen. That I’ll make a stupid mistake in a book and no one at the press will catch it and it’ll go to print that way and everyone will think I’m dumb and careless. That my writing peers will hate my books. That readers will hate my books. That my family will hate my books. That I’ll die alone and stray cats will gnaw at my decaying corpse for weeks before someone calls the cops about a suspicious stench and they come and shovel what remains of me into a five-gallon bucket. Wait, what was the question again? 

What’s your favorite horror movie or television series?

When I was younger, I was obsessed with Dark Shadows. Maybe that’s more of a gothic romance than a pure horror show, though? Anyway it’s got sexy vampires and a governess-wealthy dude romance à la Jane Eyre, and a dual timeline sitch that’s akin to Outlander. BUT DID I MENTION THE SEXY VAMPIRES?

How do you deal with fear?

Three cheers for drugs! I’m very outgoing, so people are often surprised to learn that I have an extreme fear of public speaking. It got so bad that my doctor wrote me a prescription a few years ago for beta blockers that actually says “For Public Speaking” right on the little orange bottle. Now, about 30 minutes before I take the stage at an event, I pop a beta blocker. Sometimes, if I’m super-duper nervous, I’ll add half of an Ativan. That combo is enough to tame the butterfly mosh pit in my tummy and keep my heart from exploding out of my chest like that razor-clawed creature in Alien.

I now find that I can often give talks without these chemical crutches. Like Dumbo’s magic feather, the knowledge that the pills are there if I need them can be enough to calm me down.

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Author, speaker, educational consultant, and editor Katherine Hutchinson-Hayes, Ed. D. has had her hand in leadership for many years. She loves speaking to groups and delivering messages with a quick wit and real-life stories. Her first thriller, A Fifth of the Story, is the suspenseful, action-packed tale of one man’s courage and resilience as he works against the clock to save the lives of his two best friends and, ultimately, the freedom he’s fought for as a CIA agent during one of the US’s history’s darkest hours.

Katherine is a freelance writer/content editor, a content editor/writing coach for Iron Stream Media, and a sensitivity reader for Sensitivity Between the Lines. She belongs to Florida Writers Association, American Christian Fiction Writers, and Crime Writers of Color. Katherine also hosts the podcast Murder, Mystery & Mayhem Laced with Morality.

But what scares her, you ask? Read on to find out…

What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever written?

I have successfully penned two thrilling novels. The first one is titled A Fifth of the Story, and the second one is currently awaiting publication. Both of my books deal with the spine-chilling issue of extremism that is rapidly affecting our country.

As an author, I have researched the subject matter thoroughly, and the topic kept me on edge while I wrote the books. Through my writing, I want to highlight the grave consequences of extremism and how it can disrupt the social fabric of our nation.

A Fifth of the Story and my upcoming novel delve into the topic in different ways, and I aim to educate and entertain my readers while also making them aware of the risks that exist in our society. 

What is your weirdest fear?

Despite being an expert swimmer and even a swimming teacher, I have a somewhat bizarre fear of deep water in swimming pools. I can’t help but feel anxious and uneasy whenever I’m in the deep end of a pool, as if something is lurking beneath me. It’s an irrational fear, but I can’t shake it off. I’m afraid that a shark will attack me, even though I know that it’s highly unlikely. I believe that this fear is a result of the book and movie Jaws, which I read and watched when I was too young to differentiate between reality and fiction. Even though I know that sharks don’t exist in swimming pools, I can’t help but imagine a shark suddenly appearing out of nowhere and attacking me. It’s a silly fear, but it still manages to bother me whenever I’m swimming in a pool with deep water.

What is your greatest fear?

My deepest fear is to exist in a world where I am devoid of God’s presence. I believe that true joy, fulfillment, and purpose come from having a relationship with Him. Without Him, life would be meaningless and empty. My faith in God is the foundation of my existence, and the thought of living without it is terrifying to me. I strive every day to maintain a close connection with Him, so that I may never have to experience a life without His love and guidance.

What is your earliest childhood memory of fear?

As a child, I had a deep fear of thunderstorms. The sound of thunder would send shivers down my spine, and the flashes of lightning made me feel like the skies were about to come crashing down on me. However, there was one storm that stands out in my memory as the worst one I ever experienced. The wind was howling, and the rain was pounding against the windows with such force that it felt like they were about to shatter. The flashes of lightning were so bright that they illuminated the entire room, and the sound of thunder was so loud that it seemed like it was right outside my door. I couldn’t bear to stay in my own room any longer, so I made my way to my parents’ room, seeking comfort and safety. I crawled into bed between them, and finally, with their arms wrapped around me, I was able to fall into a peaceful sleep.

“The flashes of lightning were so bright that they illuminated the entire room, and the sound of thunder was so loud that it seemed like it was right outside my door.”

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Terry Shepherd is the author of the Jessica Ramirez Thrillers, The 221B Club stories for middle-grade readers and the COVID-19 children’s classic, Juliette and the Mystery Bug. Terry’s short stories have been published in several anthologies. He is also a prolific book narrator, podcaster, and owns a publishing company focused on helping indie authors get their stories into wide circulation. He lives and writes on the ocean in Jacksonville, Florida.

And now, let’s find out what scares him…

What is your greatest fear?

It used to be drowning. Now it’s being broke.

What is the scariest thing you remember from childhood?

The first time I was in a movie theater. I had never seen people so big. I started screaming and my dad had to take me out. I was way too young to understand what was going on.

Is there any fear you’ve overcome in your life? How has that changed you?

Around 2000, I made a list of every fear I had and decided to face them all and either conquer them or die trying. I took a scuba course to get over the drowning fear.

Do you have a recurring nightmare?

As a former DJ, I have the recurring nightmare that I start the next record and there is nothing but dead air. As a writer, it’s releasing my next book and getting a flurry of emails from authors I admire telling me how bad the book is.

“The first time I was in a movie theater. I had never seen people so big. I started screaming and my dad had to take me out. I was way too young to understand what was going on.”

How do you deal with fear? 

So far, I attempt to study it from a place of intellectual curiosity. That usually mitigates it.

What’s something that most people are afraid of that you are not? Why aren’t you?

I’m not afraid of death. The older I get, the less it scares me. I’ve lost people I love and have a mild curiosity about what’s next. 

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Darby Kane is a former divorce lawyer with a dual writing personality. Her debut thriller, PRETTY LITTLE WIFE, was a Book Of The Month pick, #1 international bestseller, and has been optioned by Amazon for a television series starring Gabrielle Union. Darby’s books have been featured in numerous venues, including The Washington Post, The New York Times and Cosmopolitan.

But what scares her? Read on to find out…

What is your earliest childhood memory of fear?

I grew up in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. Our town was more idyllic farm country than anything else. The crime rate was not high. Kids stayed out playing until the streetlights came on. I walked to and from school by myself or with friends. Despite this cocoon of safety, I had an almost irrational fear that I was going to be attacked by a stranger in my house. Back then I didn’t consume true crime information like I do now, and I have no idea where the fear came from, but I do have specific memories of being alone in the house and walking down the hall with my back to the wall so no one could sneak up on me. Thinking about it now makes me anxious. I never told my parents until years later.

What is your weirdest fear?

These aren’t current fears, but I remember being bombarded with information about the Bermuda Triangle, nuclear annihilation, and quicksand growing up. I’d think about all three all the time and how to escape or survive each. It would have made more sense to be afraid of being run over by farm equipment, but no. I’ve heard this from other people my age, so I’m blaming adults in the ‘80s for this.

What are your phobias?

Heights and open water. The fear of heights kicked in when I was a little kid and my mom made one of my older brothers take me on a Ferris wheel. He didn’t want to go, so the whole time we were up there he told me scary stories about people falling and dying. I’ve never gone on a Ferris wheel again. The open water fear is relatively new. I love swimming. I went to the beach and swam in the ocean every summer.  As an adult, I can’t tolerate the idea of being in water where I can’t see what’s happening below me.

Do you have a recurring nightmare?

I practiced family law for years. During that time, I had a recurring nightmare completely unrelated to being a lawyer about someone breaking into the house. One time the terror was so real I felt like I was being held down, trapped in my covers, suffocating, and unable to move. I woke up screaming. The interesting thing is that the nightmare went away when I left the full-time practice of law.

What’s something that most people are afraid of that you are not?

Tight spaces. I had a friend growing up who is now a scientist with the U.S. Forest Service. She loved doing anything outside that involved adrenaline and exertion, her favorite being caving. As a result of going in and out of caves and exploring with her, I’m fine being confined in a dark, small space.

What scares you most about the writing process?

There is a point during the writing of every book where I wonder how I’ve ever finished a book before. It’s paralyzing. I don’t think I can move forward, and I don’t really want to. I’d rather do anything else. Eventually the panic subsides, and I remember that this is, unfortunately, part of my process, then move forward. I worry that one day, while writing some future book, I will hit that point in writing and not be able to overcome it.

What is your greatest fear as a writer?

My greatest fear is that the book I just turned in will be the last one any publisher will ever buy from me.

What animal scares you the most?

Hippos. I read that hippos are the deadliest mammals on the planet. They are aggressive and territorial. They move fast. They can run 30 mph and they do this thing in the water where they go under and run on the bottom then pop up again. The videos of that are absolutely terrifying. I try very hard to never be in a position to meet a hippo.

What is your greatest fear?

Death, in relation to myself or my loved ones. I’ve always had an exaggerated sense of mortality, even when I was very young. I’m the eldest of six children, and I was always counting heads in the park or worrying about illness. As a teenager, I went through a bad period of hypochondria, with my main fear being that either I or someone I loved had eaten glass. Then after I had my first child, I developed terrible anxiety, in which the whole world felt like a dangerous death trap. I haven’t felt like this for a long time–good therapy and maybe getting a bit older and wiser. But still now if I wake at 4:00 a.m. my mind will play with illness and death. I cannot stand the thought of either being left or leaving behind the people I love most, which maybe has quite narcissist roots, in that I mentally have put myself at the centre of these lives? I’m not sure where it comes from, as I had a happy, stable childhood, although my father is quite neurotic and was often overly protective or worried. As the eldest child maybe I absorbed some of this?

What is your earliest childhood memory of fear?

One Halloween when I was probably 7 or 8, my mother put a cut-out of witch on our front door. It had movable arms and legs, was as tall as an adult human and, looking back now, a real work of art. The next day she said it was so pretty she couldn’t bear to throw it away and pinned it to a cupboard door on the landing outside my bedroom. I had to walk past it to get to the toilet at night, and it completely terrified me. I would lie in bed trying desperately to hold in my pee and then, when the need became urgent, I would race past the witch, trying not to even look at her. Funnily, I told my mother about this recently and she was mortified, saying she couldn’t believe she’d put it there and wondering why I’d never said anything. It seems crazy that I didn’t just say something, as Mum would have taken it down, but as kids I think we totally internalise fear, which of course is not the best lesson for later life!

Is there any fear you’ve overcome in your life?

The anxiety that I was talking about in my first answer was the worst fear I’ve felt in my life. And it went on for years. At first, I tried to ignore it because I felt embarrassed. I also had a baby who needed looking after. But fear doesn’t like to be ignored, and I ended up avoiding things and feeling generally dreadful. I finally started therapy when I began to find it hard to go to the supermarket or take my son to the park. It was a long road, but it totally changed everything. For many years now I would say I’ve had a healthy relationship with fear. I know my limits, I don’t put myself knowingly in dangerous situations, and I have a perspective that helps me to rationalise what’s worth getting frightened by.

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I’m excited to chat with Carl Vonderau this cold January day! Carl and I are agent siblings—lucky enough to have the best agent, Michelle Richter, in our corner. Carl’s debut novel Murderabilia was nominated for a slew of awards and his latest, Saving Myles, is about a father who would go to any lengths to get his kidnapped son back.

Read on to discover Carl’s fears and terrors and all that happy stuff.

What is your earliest childhood memory of fear?

Strangely enough it’s Santa Claus sneaking into my room at night after I was put to bed. I was afraid he would suddenly materialize over me, so hid my head under the covers.

What is your favorite spooky holiday?

I love Day of the Dead. It happens just after Halloween, but Day of the Dead is much deeper than that. Its origins date to more than 3,000 years ago with indigenous people in Mexico and Central America.

What I like is that it isn’t about ghouls coming back to haunt the living, but the living celebrating the lives of their lost loved ones. Those who passed are alive in memories. It is a joyful time rather than a day of mourning.

We have our own little display at our house. I love the bright dresses the skeleton women wear. The skeleton men are always in black tuxedos.

Do you have a recurring nightmare?

Yes. It always has to do with a deadline for travel or an exam or some business meeting. Often I’m unprepared and don’t know until that moment that I was supposed to be there. I keep getting lost on wrong streets or wrong buildings or a car goes the wrong way. Then I wake up and am relieved.

What’s your favorite horror movie or television series?

The Twilight Zone. I still remember some of these episodes from more than forty years ago. Like the blabbermouth who needs money. He accepts a bet that he can’t stay quiet for a year. He has to live the whole time in a room with microphones to pick up any word he says. He succeeds and then, at the end of the year, we find out that the man on the other side of the bet doesn’t have the money to pay him. We also learn that the day before the blabbermouth started the task, he had the nerves to his vocal chords severed.

One thing I never realized until now is that music in that show is wonderful. The dissonant and avant guard passages fit perfectly with the strange themes.

What is creepier: clowns, dolls, or wax museum figures?

Definitely clowns. They were always scary, but since I learned about John Wayne Gacy, they’re even scarier. He made a whole series of Pogo the clown paintings where the clowns were white-faced, and their white hands often held balloons. You can buy these original paintings for $10K or more. Gacy used to dress up as a clown to visit hospitals in Chicago. He murdered 33 young men and hid their bodies in the crawl spaces of his house.

What is the scariest place you’ve ever been?

A long time ago I went to Bogotá, Colombia, to research setting and content for my first novel. It was, of course, never published. I had a friend there who worked with street orphans, and he took me to Cartucho, a section where the authorities allowed crime and drugs. Drug addicts lined the streets. Most of them were hooked on basuco, which was a cocaine freebase. They built shelters from plastic bags filled with newspaper. There were also restaurants. I remember a girl of high-school age serving someone on a terrace. She turned to cast a ferocious look at me. We came across a dead youth in his twenties who’d been shot and his body lay on the street. Murders happened there most every night. The Bogotá police were photographing him. Our group couldn’t take pictures because doing so would have offended the people there. Our guide made sure we weren’t in any danger, but I was still scared.  

Carl Vonderau grew up in Cleveland in a religious family that believed God could heal all illness. Maybe that’s why he went to college in California. After majoring in economics and dabbling in classical guitar, he ended up with a career in banking. Carl has lived and worked internationally and has managed to put his foot in his mouth in several languages. He brought his banking expertise to his debut thriller Murderabilia as well as to his most recent novel, Saving Myles. He has won Left Coast Crime, San Diego, and American Book Fest awards. Carl is president of the San Diego chapter of Sisters in Crime and also helps nonprofits through San Diego Social Venture Partners.