C. Matthew Smith is author of the novel Twentymile, as well as short stories that have appeared online and in magazines and anthologies such as Mystery Weekly and Mickey Finn: 21st Century Noir. His second novel is due out late 2025. He lives with his family in Newnan, Georgia, and from what I hear, they KNOW how to do Halloween right.
But what scares him? Let’s find out.
What is your greatest fear?
Hands down, my greatest fear is heights. I don’t consider it irrational by any stretch–you fall from a significant height, and you either die or wish you had. But what my brain considers a significant height is admittedly pathetic. You get me above say eight to ten feet, and my mind starts spinning. You get me way up, and all I can think about is how I’m getting down. Eiffel Tower? Empire State Building? I’ve done them because my family wanted to do them. I didn’t enjoy them for a second, and I wasn’t up there any longer than I had to be.
What is the scariest thing you remember from childhood?
This will date me, but I have a vivid memory of watching a TV commercial for Stanley Kubrik’s The Shining. That movie was released in 1980, so I would have been five at the time. The ad included a clip of Jack chasing Danny through the snowy shrubbery maze with the axe. Seeing a child roughly my own age depicted in such danger absolutely terrified me. Maybe my mind has pasted this on over the years, but I also have a vague recollection of my parents realizing what I had just seen and the trouble it was about to cause them getting me to sleep.
Have you ever had any paranormal experiences or premonitions? How did you deal with it?
We live in a house built in 1894, and naturally a number of people have died in it. I’m a pretty rational guy, but we’ve had a number of experiences in the house that defy explanation and make it hard for me to be too much of a skeptic when it comes to the notion of ghosts. It started with this scent showing up now and then around the house—an old timey floral scent befitting a perfume. I smelled it. My wife, Cindy, smelled it. It’s not a scent you’d encounter in nature. It couldn’t have just drifted in on a breeze. In addition, Cindy and I both have experienced what feels like a hand pressing down on our chests when we slept in one particular room. It was unlike any sleep paralysis I’d ever experienced. Most concerning is that every now and then something in the house will disappear and later appear in a spot you know you searched but that you also know you hadn’t left the item. For example, this Fitbit charging cord went missing a few years back. We looked everywhere. We eventually threw up our hands and went to Best Buy to get a new one. When we came back in the house, the damn cord was draped across a chair in the living room. No way all four of us would have missed that just lying there. So I guess whatever ghost we have is a prankster.
“Every now and then something in the house will disappear and later appear in a spot you know you searched but that you also know you hadn’t left the item…So I guess whatever ghost we have is a prankster.”
Is there any fear you’ve overcome in your life? How has that changed you?
After the birth of our son, Everett, I developed a fear of flying. This was particularly inconvenient since I am an attorney and my work at the time required me to fly all over the country. My theory is that I now had someone depending on me, and my brain translated that into THIS PLANE COULD GO DOWN AND YOU’RE GOING TO LEAVE YOUR YOUNG KID FATHERLESS. It wasn’t that I couldn’t fly; I did all the time. I just hated every minute of it, and even mild turbulence had me gripping the armrests in an effort to keep the plane in the air. (You may think that’s stupid, but the plane never went down, so really, who’s to say?) Overseas trips were a particular kind of gnarly—I was probably the only passenger looking at the interactive map on the seat console checking for the nearest land masses in case the plane needed to divert for an emergency landing.
A few years ago, though, when it seemed to be at its worst and we were preparing for a family vacation in Italy, I came upon this website called fearofflying.com, which I think was created by a guy who’s both a pilot and a therapist. It was filled with reassuring data and facts. Some of it I already knew intellectually, like how much more dangerous my morning commute is statistically than any flight I could take. But it also taught me that no plane has ever gone down because of turbulence. It’s just bumps in the road. I’m a pretty analytical guy most of the time, and somehow what this website armed me with really took that fear down several notches. I won’t say it’s totally gone—I still try to meditate through takeoff and the first few minutes of ascent. But I’m not in mortal fear the whole time anymore.
What scares you most about the writing process?
I don’t plot my novels or stories. I’ve tried. I just can’t. My stories generally start with an idea, some small spark, and from there it’s just me playing with this idea whose shape I really can’t see until near the end of the writing process. As a consequence, I have no idea where it’s really going or how it’s going to end. With a novel, if I get to 20,000 words, I figure the story has legs, I should stick with it. But the end is waaaay in the distance, I can’t see it, and that brings with it a particular fear. I’m terrified that I’ll have spent all this time on this story but never get it across the finish line. That somehow I’ll stall out and reach a point where I don’t know how to move it forward to completion.
What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever written?
My first novel, Twentymile, features a badass special agent with the National Park Service’s Investigative Services Branch. She’s smart, dogged, and capable. But I gave her my fear of heights and then put her in a couple of different situations in the novel where she has no choice but to confront it. I tried to infuse those moments with some of the fear I experience, and for me those scenes were rather intense to write. I hope that comes across on the page for the reader.
Is there anything you are terrified of eating? Why?
I have a pretty adventurous palate and will try most anything. The one exception that I can think of is fugu, the Japanese blowfish delicacy that, if not prepared exactly right, can poison and kill you. I’m good. I’ll stick with sashimi.
What’s the scariest place you’ve ever been?
It’s not exactly frightening, but the catacombs in Paris are definitely creepy. You walk forever under the city, surrounded by the bones of the dead.
What’s something you’ll never do because you’re too scared?
I rock climbed one time, at the urging of a couple of guys I worked with one summer in Montana. They were psychology grad students, and they called it “immersion therapy” for my fear of heights. It didn’t work. But they fed me margaritas afterward.
What is your greatest fear as a writer?
I fear what I think most writers fear: not finding a good home for the story I’ve written. Many may not admit this. The writing should be its own reward, and it truly is. But don’t we write stories to be read by others?